friskatwerket:

battlepope:

raise the roof

you had the opportunity to say “raise the hoof” and you didn’t take it

friskatwerket:

battlepope:

raise the roof

you had the opportunity to say “raise the hoof” and you didn’t take it

tagged: +2 
waitress: i'm sorry we're all out of mozzarella sticks
waitress: sir please stop cyring

editoress:

"SIT LIKE A LADY"

NO

image

tagged: +me 

another-casualty-to-society:

Mercutio: Romeo, mah Bromeo, I love you man, but no homeo.

Romeo: Bruh

tagged: +1 

oate:

you only realise how bad the jokes on this site are until you actually say one out loud

tagged: +YES  +LMAO 

ifwefallonemoretime:

theorginalmiddlechild:

helenas-hood:

Friendly reminder that yesterday when my mom took me to Walmart she left me alone in the toilet paper section and this guy started hitting on me and I said “Sorry, I’m a lesbian.” and he was like “Oh my god I’m so sorry I thought you were a boy.”

Soda just spewed out my nose

THAT WAS A PLOT TWIST

tagged: +yoooo 
tagged: +2 

es-tea-enne:

noncanadiansatan:

bertismylife:

vickisaurusrex:

cute names for ur newborn child

  • yeehaw
  • ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
  • hte Spaghetti
  • lil shit
  • swiggity swoner i have a boner
  • genocide

come on ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), we’re gonna be late

how is that pronounced

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

quincy360:

you know that unexplainable sickish feeling where youre not really sick and you dont really have a headache but you just feel wrong and you cant get comfortable or find something that youre really into but you kinda feel too ill to sleep or eat its like your body saying “i dont know what i want you to do but this isnt it”

ussawesome:

when you spell a word so wrong that spell check is like i dont know what to tell u man

tagged: +LMAO 

escapekit:

Mountainscapes #1

Italian photographer Paolo Pettigiani over the past year has been photographing gorgeous landscapes, above is a selection of his favourite shots from 2013. 

tagged: +me 

jeszing:

I’m falling into heart eyes emoji with you

tagged: +1 

scantilycladdad:

TURNT UP? more like learnt up. stay in school

onlinehumor:

"I like your outfit"

image

tagged: +LMAO